You have been given this citation for being a true MORON because you:
[ ] selfishly, [ ] foolishly, [ ] dangerously, and/or [ ] rudely:

[ ] failed to signal to change lanes.

[ ] cut people off.

[ ] tailgated.

[ ] crossed the gore.

[ ] left-lane bombed.

[ ] right-lane bombed.

[ ] drove slow in the fast lane.

[ ] drove fast in the slow lane.

[ ] don't understand "slow traffic keep right."

[ ] don't understand "left lane passing only."

[ ] parked in a handicapped spot without displaying authorization.

[ ] parked like an $@#%!$!!

[ ] created a new parking spot where none exists.

[ ] turned right on red when traffic was approaching.

[ ] created gridlock.

[ ] rubbernecked.

[ ] threw garbage out the window.

[ ] ______________________________.

You are an idiot because you: [ ] weren't paying attention. [ ] were driving while using a cellphone.

[ ] are just an idiot. [ ] ______________________________.

To remedy this problem, please:

[ ] walk.

[ ] take public transportation.

[ ] just stay home.

[ ] get a clue.

[ ] get a life.

[ ] stop breathing.

[ ] short pier/long drive.

[ ] take driving lessons.

[ ] learn how to read (signs, drivers manual, etc.)

[ ] ____________________________.

To ensure your public disgrace:

[ ] a photo of your car [ ] a photo of you [ ] your license plate number

[ ] a full description of your car [ ] a full description of you

[ ] ____________________________.

will be submitted for publication (or prosecution) to the following organization:
________________________________________________.

Sincerely,

The person who:

[ ] you cut off. [ ] you tailgated. [ ] you generally annoyed. [ ] keyed your car.

[ ] is going to slash your tires if you do this again. [ ] you needlessly wasted the time of.

[ ] ___________________________.